The Best Laid Plans
by psycholizard
Summary: River and Jayne become the targets of a convoluted and complicated matchmaking scheme done by the people that know them best: Kaylee and Simon. Rayne. Fluff fic. Post-BDM.
1. Chapter 1

River peeked around the corner and watched silently as Kaylee sat on the floor in the engine room, tinkering with a piece that just wasn't working right for her. Didn't matter how many times Kaylee told the Cap'n they needed a new rotor, he wouldn't cave in and let her buy it. Too expensive, he said. Well, if he didn't let her replace it soon, then he'd have to get himself a whole new ship. That is, if he didn't die in the fiery crash first. 

Frustrated, Kaylee threw the scrap of metal on the floor and groaned. Things just weren't going very well for her at all. Engine wasn't working the way it was supposed to, Captain's being a stubborn ass about it, and Simon was being an idiot. Again. She seriously had to wonder if that man had ever talked to a female besides his sister. Sometimes it was cute. Right now, it was frustrating. 

"Men are boobs," River spoke up, interrupting her friend's thought train. With a smile, she stepped into the engine room and sat down beside Kaylee.

"Heya River," Kaylee responded with a smile. "Don't suppose you have any insight into why men are such boobs, do ya?" River shook her head.

"They just are. It's their nature," she replied. "My brother especially." Kaylee sighed and lay down on the metal floor, covering her face with her hands as she groaned. River lay down beside her and mimicked her sigh of frustration.

"Well, your brother is an idiot," Kaylee said with a huff then looked over at her friend. "No offense."

"None taken," came the reply. "He is." There was a pause before River continued speaking.

"What did he do this time?" Kaylee gave a loud groan and turned her head toward River.

"What didn't he do?" she complained. "I mentioned that there was this restaurant on Persephone that I wanted to go to. I was thinking maybe if he knew I wanted to go, then he'd ask me to go with him on like a date or something. And then he went off about how he could get into a fancy restaurant in the Core at a moment's notice. Didn't need reservations or nothing. Don't he know I don't wanna hear that? All's I wanna hear is, 'Kaylee you wanna go for dinner tonight?' Or maybe 'Kaylee will you marry me?' " River giggled and Kaylee pouted.

"Ain't funny, River," she said. "All's I want is a little romance in my life, but he ain't doing nothing."

"Silly Kaylee, I'm not laughing at that," River answered. "Laughing at my idiot-brother. Doesn't understand what's right in front of him. He has no frame of reference in which to base his romantic assumptions. He doesn't know how to romance you." Seeing Kaylee's look of confusing, River decided further explanation was warranted.

"In Core society, it is deemed inappropriate for a man to openly display his affections in a romantic manner. Rather, his goal when pursuing a suitable life companion is to prove he is able to provide her with a life of comfortable affluence, such as letting you know he can get into the most exclusive venues."

"So what you're saying is that Simon has no idea on how to romance," Kaylee asked, still stretched out on the floor. River looked over at her friend and smiled as she happily nodded. 

"So what do you suggest I do?" Kaylee asked. "What do women do in the Core when the men they like don't make a move soon enough."

"Nothing," River replied.

"Nothin'?" Kaylee echoed and River nodded.

"They just move on to the next best prospect," River answered.

Kaylee eyed River and giggled. With an evil grin, she leaned over and whispered something in River's ear, laughing out loud as the young pilot's eyes widened.

* * *

Jayne sat alone in the galley sharpening his knives. The repetitive motion calmed him, like meditatin' and other sorts of _go se_ Inara was always talking about. Gave him time to think stuff through, though sometimes that wasn't always a good thing. Like right now he was trying not to think on a certain little crazy person with huge brown eyes and gorgeous dancer legs who could kill a man forty-two different ways with a pair of chopsticks.

Nope. Definitely not thinking about that.

Frustrated, he set his knife down on the table and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like he was going crazy. Seems like she'd been on his mind a lot more lately and nothing was making her go away. The vision of her standing there as those doors slid open, gripping that sword and that axe, dripping in Reaver blood was too much for his brain to handle. Yep, she was there, firmly planted in the area of his brainpan that controlled his deepest fantasies and desires.

Now the question was, what was he going to do about it?

Jayne glanced up as the object of his desire floated into the room with Kaylee by her side. The two were giggling like schoolgirls, and while Jayne would usually find the cheerfulness annoying, today he found it cute. Which in his mind, was just another sign that maybe he really was going crazy. He picked up his knife and pretended to be busy cleaning it. Anything to keep himself from watching the girl.

"Hey Jayne," Kaylee said in her usual high-pitched voice. Jayne grunted and gave a nod in their direction. Best not encourage too much talking. He might have to look at Crazy and no telling what that would do to his calm. Crazy ruttin' mind-readin' genius. 

"We were wondering if you could help us with something," Kaylee continued. The two girls sat down at the table across from him. Kaylee was looking like her usual grease monkey self with coveralls hanging open and a smudge of dirt on her forehead. However, River had on a new dress. At least, he thought it was new. Maybe it wasn't new. But it fit her all shiny-like, not like those old bags she used to wear. And he was convinced there was something different with her hair. Maybe she had just combed it. But it looked all pretty and silk-like. River tilted her head and gave him an odd look.

_Go se_! He quickly looked back down at his knife, the table, anywhere but at her.

"Whaddya want?" he said gruffly, like the mean old mercenary he was. Kaylee continued speaking, seemingly oblivious to his obvious discomfort.

"Well, we need your help in making Simon see what an idiot he's being," she answered with a grin. Jayne cocked an eyebrow and stared at her.

"Wha' for?" he asked. "Aintcha already sexin' him up?" Kaylee rolled her eyes at the mercenary and gave River a sideways glance. River felt a bit sick at the thought of her brother sexin' anyone, but took a deep breath and reminded herself that Kaylee was her friend and needed her help. Jayne chuckled at the slight green color River was turning. Kaylee, however, just continued talking.

"Yes, and he's real good at that and all but he ain't too good in the romance department."

"So whatcha want me to do?" Jayne grunted. It was useless pretending he was busy with his knives, especially with that crazy beautiful pilot sitting at the table staring at him with those big doe eyes. Hell, had she even blinked? That wasn't pretty, that was just downright creepifyin'.

River blinked twice and interrupted Kaylee.

"I think maybe we need to re-evaluate the plan, Kaylee," she said as she rose from her chair. Kaylee shook her head and grabbed her by the arm, yanking her back down into the chair.

"No way," she said with a wide smile. "This is just too perfect." Jayne huffed in frustration.

"Well, if it's so gorram perfect, then get on with it!" he said. "I ain't got all ruttin' day!" Kaylee giggled and River raised an eyebrow.

"You gotta pretend to court me!" Kaylee exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly.

Jayne just about fell out of his chair at Kaylee's proclamation.

"I gotta what?" he exclaimed. "Why I gotta do that for?"

"Jayne, this is a good idea," she said. "Simon don't have no role models on how to properly romance someone. So while he's good in the sack and all, he don't really know much of anything else. So he needs someone to act all romantic-like so he knows how to win the girl." Jayne blinked twice and looked from the mechanic to the pilot.

He could remember how his pa always brought his ma home flowers and danced with her in the kitchen. That was the way folks that loved each other acted. Course, he'd never done that for a girl. Mind you, he'd never loved a girl before. A thought quickly flashed through his mind of him and River dancing slowly together in the galley. He gulped and looked away quickly. Wouldn't do to have those thoughts around a mind-reader.

"K, so I'm not quite following," he replied. "Why do ya need me to pretend to court you?" Kaylee rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Well, it was all River's idea," she explained carefully. River sat up straight and shook her head.

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was," Kaylee replied. "You said Core girls just move on to the next prospect. Simon just needs a little competition is all. Gotta let him know this cow ain't always gonna be givin' away her milk for free, you know."

"This is true. Jealousy is a powerful motivator," River explained carefully to Jayne, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that was settling in the pit of her stomach. "Makes people do what they normally wouldn't. Break out of their shell and confront their true feelings." 

"And it ain't like there's a lot of romance on the ship," Kaylee continued. "Wash and Zoe were already married long before Simon came on board. And it ain't like Mal would even consider it since he's too busy trying to woo Inara." Jayne chuckled.

"So you are the logical choice," River said, looking up at him. Jayne met her gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"How do you figure that?" he replied. "Your brother's likely to stick me with some sort of strange concoction 'fore I can do any romancing. Not to mention Mal and Zoe are likely to put a gun to my head. 'Sides I ain't hardly the romancing type. Kinda goes against my image, if'n ya know what I mean."

"Will ensure that the father figure and his sidekick do not kill you," River answered. "As for the boob, the primary motivation behind this plan is to spur him to action. But don't worry, I will ensure he does not harm you." Jayne grunted. Kaylee's plan had too many holes in it and was likely to get him shot, or worse.

"Alright, I'll do it," he found himself saying. "But I better not get shot!" He quickly scooped up his knives and walked out of the mess without looking back. He kept walking until he reached bunk and climbed down the hatch into the solitude of his bunk. He put his knives away carefully and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

Jayne didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew he was royally humped.

* * *

Kaylee quickly left the galley and returned to the engine room, leaving River alone to ponder what had just occurred. When she first stumbled across Kaylee's frustration, she had intended to help her friend figure her brother out. Kaylee's idea was flawed and illogical, but she was so excited about it, so River went along. But then she had caught a glimpse of Jayne's thoughts and everything changed in an instant. The big man thought she was pretty. He actually liked her and when she remembered his vision of slow-dancing in the cargo bay, she felt a slight twinge of an unidentifiable emotion settle in her stomach. She was shocked to realize she actually liked the image. 

It was preposterous. Ridiculous. Entirely and completely untrue. She could not possibly like his idea because she didn't like him. She did not have any feelings for that big man-like ape beyond a passing annoyance at the very idea of his existence. He was there. They co-existed together as individuals, but nothing more. They weren't even friends. He wasn't even that handsome. 

Well, maybe he was handsome. She could at least admit that much. But beyond that, he truly had nothing that recommended himself to her. He had tried to sell her out to the Feds on Ariel, after all.

But he realized his mistake and helped her and Simon get to safety, she argued with herself.

He also tried to get rid of her after the Maidenhead incident.

In his defense, he had tried to stop her in the bar and she had knocked him out. Plus, she was crazy.

He was arrogant and self-centered.

And fiercely loyal and protective of the women on his crew.

He was a killer.

But so was she.

River groaned and buried her face in her hands, frustrated at her inner battle. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Kaylee's latest scheme was a very, very bad idea.

* * *

_A/N: None of this is mine. It all belongs to Joss. He is awesome. You know who else is awesome? My beta, badkarma00. _


	2. Chapter 2

River sat nervously at the table as the crew assembled for dinner in the dining hall, unsure of how to act. She didn't understand why she felt nervous or why a deep feeling of unease had settled in the pit of her stomach. The only thing she could think of was that that Kaylee and Jayne would commence with the plan tonight and she didn't know how it would proceed. She didn't want them to go through with their idea because it could only end badly. For Simon. She was only thinking of her brother.

Why, oh why did she endorse this idea?

River watched silently as Mal and Zoe filed in and took their seats at the end of the table, followed closely by Kaylee and Simon. She watched as Simon took his regular seat beside the bright mechanic and dinner was served.

A few moments later, as Mal was passing the potato flavored protein-mash across the table to her, Jayne lumbered in and looked around. There were two empty seats: one beside Kaylee and one beside River. He hesitated for a brief moment before sitting and River felt the pang of an unidentifiable emotion flash through her as he chose the seat next to Kaylee instead of his usual seat next to her. Why should it matter this much? It really shouldn't because it was all part of the plan. He needed to convince the others that he liked Kaylee, so it made sense for him to change his routine and sit next to her. It's just that River was used to being able to steal his dinner roll just to annoy him.

"Could someone please pass the salt?" Kaylee's inquiry broke through River's reverie. River glanced up and watched Jayne reach across the table and grab the shaker.

"Here ya go, Kaylee," he said as he flashed the mechanic a wide smile that was usually reserved for those he was trying to impress.

"Thanks Jayne," Kaylee replied, smiling in return. River carefully watched the crew for any sort of a reaction. Mal was engrossed in his meal and not paying attention to anything around him. Zoe and Simon were caught up in a conversation about the use of gun powder as an effective cauterizing agent.

"You didn't get any bread, didja Kaylee-girl." River looked up sharply at Jayne's term of endearment. It appeared she was the only one that caught it.

"No, it musta passed me by," Kaylee answered. Simon was still deep in conversation with Zoe and seemingly oblivious to the interaction between the pair. River felt herself silently screaming in frustration at the density of her brother. The sooner he picked up on Jayne's 'interest', the sooner this whole act would end and life would become normal again. Jayne would sit by her like he usually did and they would tease and play with each other as usual.

River tried not to think too hard of the implications of that thought.

She watched as Jayne reached across the table picked up the breadbasket from its position in front of River. He paused momentarily and gave her a little wink. Her eyes narrowed in return and she looked down intently at her dinner plate.

"Here ya go, Kaylee," Jayne said as he passed her the basket. Kaylee smiled up at him as she took a dinner roll and placed it at the edge of her plate.

"When are we meeting Inara?" Simon's query interrupted her intense observation of Kaylee and Jayne. She watched as Mal glanced up from his dinner.

"We should be landing on Beaumonde tomorrow," he responded. "Ain't that right, albatross." River nodded once, not bothering to speak. Mal raised an eyebrow at her lack of response but continued speaking.

"Anyway," he continued. "She'll be meeting us after the drop. Was there something you needed from her?" Simon nodded.

"I asked her to pick up a new herbal medication from her sources," Simon responded, taking a bite of his protein mash. "It's has some interesting effects on tissue healing and regeneration. I won't bore you with the details, but it might prove useful with this crew."

The rest of dinner proceeded rather uneventfully, with various crewmembers engaged in light conversation while River sat back in careful observation. Simon remained oblivious to the interaction occurring between Kaylee and Jayne, although River was keenly aware of it and becoming more annoyed with every passing minute. When Jayne leaned over and whispered something in Kaylee's ear, eliciting a giggle, River huffed in frustration and crossed her arms over her chest like a petulant child.

"Something wrong, albatross?" River looked up at the Captain's address and shook her head. She was vaguely aware of Jayne looking at her in curiosity, but chose not to meet his gaze.

"No," she replied simply. "Why?"

"You just seem a mite put off is all," he replied with a shrug.

"I'm not put off," she answered quickly. Mal raised an eyebrow and stared at her.

"No need to get defensive, River," Mal replied, his hands raised in surrender.

"I'm not defensive," River said defensively. At this point, the rest of the crew had become aware of the slight conflict that had begun to brew between the Captain and his pilot. Simon looked up from his conversation at his sister.

"Mei mei is everything alright?" he questioned, a note of concern tinged his voice as he looked at her with his eyebrows furrowed together. River sighed and stood up abruptly from her chair.

"I'm fine," she stated. "Just women problems." She knocked her chair back as she quickly walked out, leaving the crew in stunned silence. They sat like that for a moment before Mal spoke up again.

"Did anything about that seem a tad odd to any of you?" he questioned. Jayne chuckled as he took a bit of his protein mash.

"It's Moonbrain," he replied. "She's always odd." Kaylee elbowed Jayne in the ribs hard enough to cause him to wince and rub his side tenderly.

"Jayne, that's not nice," Kaylee said with a pout.

"Aw, I'm sorry Kaylee-girl. You know I don't mean nothing by it," Jayne answered. Simon, who had been unusually quiet, stood up quickly.

"I think I should go make sure she's okay," he said as he followed his sister.

"Mei mei?"

River looked up as her brother walked onto the bridge. She was sitting in the pilot's chair with her legs curled up against her chest and her head resting on her knees. Simon crouched down beside her until they were eye level. Tenderly he touched her shoulder and brushed a stray hair out of her eyes.

"Are you alright, River?" he questioned. River smiled obligingly at him.

"I'm fine, Simon," she replied.

"You left so abruptly," Simon looked at her tenderly. "It worried me."

"Is that all that worried you?" River looked up at him with an imploring gaze, wishing for just a moment that he was psychic and could pick up on what was bothering her. Unfortunately, like most men of her acquaintance, her brother could not read her thoughts.

"What do you mean, mei mei?" he probed gently, quietly imploring her for some sort of answer to her bizarre behavior in the mess hall.

"Weren't you at all concerned over Jayne's interaction with Kaylee?" she queried, frustrated over her brother's apparent lack of insight.

"What interaction?" Simon chuckled. "He passed her the bread and the salt." River rolled her eyes at his response.

"And he told her a joke that made her laugh!" she exclaimed as though it were the most obvious thing in the world and Simon couldn't hide his mirth.

"River…mei mei," he laughed. "Do you think I should be jealous over that?"

"Don't you?" River leaned back in the chair and tilted her head to the side as she stared at her brother.

"No," Simon responded with an exasperated expression. "I'm sure that the big neanderthal views Kaylee like a sister and nothing more. I wouldn't be worried or upset about a harmless little joke. Not unless you think Kaylee needs to be worried every time I tease you."

River sighed and nodded silently before turning back to the flight console. Taking this as a signal that their conversation was over, Simon stood and left the bridge, leaving River alone to her thoughts once more. Thoughts that were, at this moment, in the worst sort of turmoil.

Simon quietly made his way toward the one place he knew he could find solace: the engine room. He smiled to himself at the thought of Kaylee tinkering with her machines and covered in grease. She was far too sweet to put up with his temperament, but he was glad she did. He might be socially awkward and unsure of his actions, but he loved her with everything he had and was anxious to prove it to her. It was this desire to impress her that made him agree to her latest scheme.

Simon stood by the doorway into the engine room and watched as his oil-covered mechanic tinkered with her engine and smiled lightly. He knew she was often self-conscious about her appearance, but to him, she was never more beautiful then when her hair was pulled up loosely, her coveralls hung around her hips, and she had a smudge of dirt on her face, just like she did now.

"How long are you gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna hand me that rag," Kaylee spoke up, her back still turned on him. Simon chuckled and entered the engine room, crouching down next to her. He picked up the rag lying on the floor and handed it to her, lightly wiping a spot of grease of her nose as he did so. Kaylee smiled as she took the rag then leaned over and kissed him sweetly on his cheek.

"How's River?" she inquired. Sighing, Simon sat down on the floor and leaned against the bulkhead.

"It's obvious she's bothered, but I'm not sure she can identify why," he replied. Kaylee scooted over and sat next to him, curling up in his outstretched arms.

"She thinks I should be jealous and that anything she might be feeling is a result of her sisterly affection," Simon continued as he loosened Kaylee's ponytail and ran his fingers through her light hair. "I think you might have to kick the plan up a notch."

Simon was startled when Kaylee suddenly buried her face in his shirt and her shoulders started shaking uncontrollably. Her giggles grew louder as she turned her face up to look at him.

"Did you just say 'kick it up a notch', doctor Tam?" she giggled, her expression full of mirth. Simon blushed and nudged her lightly.

"Are you making fun of the way I talk?" he teased, pinching her sides. Kaylee squealed as Simon began tickling her.

"Not at all, Doctor. I just think you need to 'kick it up a notch'," she replied wriggling out of his grip. Simon grabbed her wrist and drew her toward him, kissing her soundly.

"How's that for 'kicking it up a notch'?" he said with a smirk. Kaylee smiled and leaned into his kiss.

"Oh I think that's pretty good," she replied, straddling his lap and settling against his chest.

Mal was confused. Thoroughly and utterly confused and the reason for that confusion was currently piloting his ship. He leaned back in his chair in the mess hall and contemplated River's bizarre behavior at dinnertime. Her behavior could never be counted as normal, but her actions at dinner were definitely more unusual than normal. Unfortunately he had a strange inkling as to what precipitate it and that inkling was named Jayne Cobb. Rising from his seat, Mal headed toward that cargo bay, intent on having a little chat with the mercenary.


	3. Chapter 3

Jayne sat alone in the cargo bay with just his weights for company. Lying flat on his back on the weight bench, he steadily lifted the barbell up and down, breathing in rhythm with his movements. It was a fair thing to say that the mercenary had a lot on his mind right now and was trying to find some semblance of calm. Unfortunately, he wasn't succeeding and therefore, pushed himself to work out harder, hoping the pain would cause him to forget the cause of his musings.

River.

The girl had been a royal pain in his _pi gu_ since the moment he first laid eyes on her. 'Cept now he was pretty sure he liked her. Might even love her, although he had no experience with that sort of thing. But the way he figured it, she was a mind reader and he was pretty sure she had picked up on his thoughts earlier in the mess hall. Since she hadn't mentioned anything yet, it was a fair bet she didn't feel anything remotely similar to what he did.

Jayne continued his reps, lost deep in thought. He was so preoccupied with his thinking that he wasn't aware of the Captain's entrance into the cargo bay until the man's face suddenly appeared in his field of vision.

"Jesus Mal!" Jayne swore and nearly dropped the barbell on his chest. Using both hands, Mal reached down and helped the merc set the weight in its cradle.

"Scared the bejeesus outta me. Shouldn't sneak up on a man like that," Jayne sat up on the bench, his heart pounding from more than just the workout.

"Made plenty of noise, Jayne," Mal replied, casually standing with his arms folded across his chest. "Wouldn'ta scared you so much if you hadn't been so distracted."

Jayne grabbed a towel lying on the floor and wiped the sweat off his forehead, carefully avoiding Mal's steady gaze.

"See, what I can't figure out is why you're so distracted," Mal continued. "But I got me a couple of theories about that."

"That right?" Jayne looked up at the Captain and raised an eyebrow. Mal pursed his lips and nodded.

"That's right," he answered. "So why don't you try help me out here?"

"Sure," Jayne eyed Mal suspiciously, unsure of where this conversation was heading. He watched as Mal began pacing back and forth across the cargo bay.

"See, River was acting a mite odd at dinner tonight, and despite what you said, we both know it wasn't her usual sort of odd," Mal began. "So I got to thinking about what exactly precipitated her unusual behavior and I came to a disturbing conclusion." Jayne stood and folded his arms defensively.

"And what conclusion is that, Mal," he questioned. Mal mirrored his posture.

"That she was jealous," Mal commented. "And that you were acting in such a manner as to make her so."

"Now Mal…" Jayne began speaking, but Mal held up a hand motioning for silence.

"Jayne, I don't want to hear any excuses," he interrupted. "All's I want to hear is what you think you're doing."

"There's no easy way to explain this," Jayne sighed and ran his hand across his sweaty head. "Basically, I was tryin' to make Simon jealous."

"Woah, Jayne," Mal stepped back with his hands raised. "Wasn't expecting that." Jayne's eyes widened comically as he realized what Mal had inferred from that statement.

"No, no, it's not like that," he quickly said. "I was doing it for Kaylee!"

"For Kaylee?" If it was possible, Mal was even more confused now than he was before.

"Alright," Mal continued. "I think you need to explain everything right from the beginning."

Sighing, Jayne sat down on the weight bench and began explaining his story.

A few hours later, Zoe found Mal sitting alone in the cargo bay with his head resting in his hands, apparently lost deep in thought.

"Sir?" she questioned tentatively as she approached him. "Is everything alright?"

Mal glanced up at her from his position on the weight bench.

"I don't know where to begin Zoe," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I just had the most interesting conversation with Jayne concerning the odd behavior of our little albatross."

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" Mal nodded.

"Care to share, sir, or are you gonna keep me in suspense?" Zoe asked. Mal sighed again as he stood and began pacing the floor.

"It seems our dear Jayne is involved in a plot," he said with some finality. Zoe crossed her arms over her chest, looking serious.

"A plot, sir?" she questioned.

"Yes, Zoe, a plot," Mal echoed. Zoe matched her stride to Mal's pacing.

"Is this a nefarious plot, sir?"

"Of the worst kind."

"Indeed. And did he share the details of this plot, sir?" Mal stopped his pacing and clasped his hands behind his back.

"He did at that," came the reply. Zoe stood beside her Captain, waiting for him to continue.

"And…" She was growing very impatient. Mal pursed his lips then leaned forward and whispered the details of the plot in Zoe's ear. Zoe's expression remained stoic and impassive as always when she heard the details, but she couldn't refrain from expressing her reservations.

"Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked. Mal chuckled as he looked at her.

"Since when have any of our ideas been good?" he shrugged.

"Think he'll get shot, sir?" A faint hint of a smile crept across Zoe's face.

River sat in the cooling duct situated between the mess hall and the engine room. It was quiet up here. Peaceful. It allowed her to think free from the interference of the other's thoughts. It allowed her to find serenity.

Except today it wasn't working and that frustrated her.

Today her thoughts were muddled and confused and she couldn't piece the fragments together.

It wasn't like usual. She knew who she was and where she was. She knew what was reality and what wasn't. She just didn't know her own mind. She never had much experience with feelings, always preferring a good book to social interaction. It was times like these when she truly wished she had suffered through those inane parties and gatherings her mother was so fond of hosting.

If she was honest, River found herself becoming more and more bothered by the budding "romance" developing between Jayne and Kaylee, which was quite ludicrous. It wasn't a real romance and she shouldn't be bothered. But there was something deep inside her that hated watching Kaylee and Jayne interact, despite the knowledge that it was all a farce. She could no longer deny that what she felt was beyond a sisterly concern for her brother's feelings.

Taking a deep breath, she began crawling toward the engine room. She was determined to discuss this perplexing matter with Kaylee and hopefully come to a satisfying resolution to her problem. If all went well, Kaylee would be able to shed some light on this issue she was facing, or perhaps even scrap the plan altogether. River definitely preferred the latter option as it meant Jayne would go back to sittng next to her at dinner.

Gradually, River made her way over to the duct above the engine, but stopped short when she heard voices. Quietly, she crept toward an open grate that looked down over the engine room. She peered through the metal grate and her jaw dropped at the sight before her. Jayne and Kaylee were alone together and were deep in conversation. River knew it was wrong to spy on them and that the best course of action would be to make her presence known. However, given the circumstance, she currently felt that observation was the best course of action. Of course, they were more than likely just discussing the plan, in which case, listening in wouldn't do any harm.

"So how's the plan workin out, Kaylee?" River felt a shiver run down her spine as the sound of Jayne's rough and gravelly voice floated up. River found it strange how a person's speech pattern could affect the physical reactions of another person, yet Jayne's did just that.

"Not working out at all. I don't know what to do," Kaylee replied from her position under the engine. River watched as Jayne sat down on the floor against the wall and sighed.

"I dunno. I was kinda hopin' it'd have worked by now," he answered. Kaylee scrambled out from the underside of the machine and crawled over next to him. Sitting down beside him, she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"It'll work out," she answered looping her arm around his bicep. River's eyes narrowed at the physical display. This wasn't part of the plan. No one was watching. There was no need for them to be so close. Jayne reached over and clasped Kaylee's hand in his bigger one.

"Yeah, but this is getting' to be all manners of frustrating, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm just worried about how River seems to be taking this," Jayne said after a moment. River sat up in surprise when she heard his comment. A small smile began to creep across her face before she could stop. She couldn't help the swell of happiness that burst through her at the realization that the big ape-man was concerned about her. This was a most interesting development.

"Oh don't worry about her," Kaylee rolled her eyes and sighed. "She knows the plan. She's fine."

"She just seems to be a mite off, is all," Jayne continued. His eyebrows furrowed together and a look of something akin to concern crossed his face. Kaylee smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Like you said in the mess, it's River." River leaned back against the duct wall and crossed her arms, her lip sticking out pitifully. She pouted like a petulant child. What exactly did Kaylee mean by that comment? She peered out through the grating as the voices below continued speaking.

"Maybe we need to up our game a l'il. You know, speed things up a bit. Don't want this carrying on too long," Jayne was saying.

River's eyes narrowed as she watched the scene unfold below. She felt a tinge of jealousy shoot through her stomach as Kaylee leaned up against Jayne's side.

"Funny you should say that," Kaylee giggled. "How do you suggest we up our game?"

Jayne smiled down at the perky blonde and wrapped his arm around her.

"I dunno. What makes a person jealous?" he replied.

River turned away, her eyes brimming with tears. She just couldn't watch anymore. It was all becoming so clear to her. Kaylee _liked_ Jayne. She enjoyed flirting with him and playing with him, even though she was in a relationship with Simon. It was awful and River didn't know what to do with this new information. There was no denying what she had seen. It was as clear as a morning on Greenleaf. Taking a deep breath, she began crawling back into the depths of the cooling ducts. She needed to think.


	4. Chapter 4

Simon stood alone in the med bay obsessively counting out his tools and organizing them on the tray. The Captain had just booked another job and if Simon was right, which he usually was, he would need all of his equipment to be in order and easily accessible as soon as the job was completed. He also needed time to think about the strange turn of events his life had taken.

Unfortunately, he was so caught up in what he was doing that he didn't hear River pad silently into the infirmary, nor did he hear her approach him very quietly and stand behind him.

"What are you doing, Simon?" Simon jumped backwards at the sudden voice in his ear and clasped a hand over his chest in an overly dramatic fashion.

"Mei mei," he said in a breathless voice. "You startled me."

Rivers face broke out into a wide grin at his reaction before she quickly sobered. Simon noticed the sudden change immediately and moved closer to her.

"River, what's wrong?" he asked. Tenderly, he reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. His fingertips brushed lightly across her cheeks and when he pulled his hand back, he saw that they were wet. Tilting her face up slightly, he noticed her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were moist.

"River, have you been crying?" A note of deep concern tinged Simon's voice and his protective older brother nature began to emerge. River's lower lip quivered and she took a shaky breath as she shook her head.

"No," she said quietly, her eyes brimming with unshed tears and her nose red and runny. Ever since she was a child, River had never been able to hide her tears, especially from Simon. When they were younger, he would tease her and say that it was because she looked funny when she cried, like a puppy that someone had left out in the rain for too long. As they grew older, River took solace in the fact that her brother always knew when she was upset, even when their parents did not.

"River," Simon replied affectionately. "I know when you're upset and have been crying. Now tell me what's bothering you."

He gently took her hand and led her over to one of the metal stools standing in a corner to sit down. Pulling up another stool, he sat down across from her, gazing at her intently. River looked away, trying in to avoid his gaze, but all her attempts were in vain. With a move only a brother could pull off, Simon tilted her chin so she looked directly at him.

"Fine," River crossed her arms with a huff and leaned as far back on the stool as she could without falling off.

"I saw Kaylee and Jayne sitting together in the engine room," she sighed.

"And?" Simon prompted. River huffed in frustration and rolled her eyes. Honestly, her brother could be so thick in the skull sometimes.

"And they were talking," she replied as though this were the most obvious thing in the 'verse. Simon smiled to himself and tried, in vain, to contain a chuckle.

"Like we are now?"

"No! Not like we are now! Like fluff and cuddles and warm thoughts!" River knew she was babbling, it was a habit of hers when she became excessively frustrated like she was now.

"River, do you need me to get you anything?" Simon asked gently. River shook her head vigorously.

"No, no needles, no medicine," she answered as she put her hands on either side of her head. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, locating her inner place of calm. Within the span of a few minutes, during which Simon was seriously beginning to doubt his own sanity as well as his sister's, River was able to find her place of zen and relax enough to tell her brother what was bothering her.

"Kaylee was sitting beside Jayne and he had his arm around her," River finally managed to say. She was certain her brother would understand now and put a stop to the nonsense that was occurring on board this ship. He was after all her brother, and dense as he might be, he loved Kaylee. She was sure of it. Simon sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"River I think there's a bigger issue at hand here that we need to deal with," Simon replied.

Maybe he didn't love Kaylee as much as she thought he did.

"Were you spying on Kaylee in the engine room?" he asked. River raised an eyebrow and pursed her lip. Simon held in a smile at the indignant look she shot him.

"Not the point," River replied as she folded her arms across her chest. Honestly, why couldn't her brother just understand? He could be such a boob sometimes.

"No, I think that is the point, mei mei," Simon answered. "Everyone has a right to privacy without having to worry about a certain impish little pilot crawling through the cooling ducts watching them."

River fidgeted nervously while Simon continued his lecture.

"I know you've worked very hard to build and maintain your psychic boundaries during the past few months. I'm very proud of the control you've able to obtain. But you need to respect people's physical privacy as well as their mental privacy. Did you eavesdrop on Kaylee's and Jayne's thoughts as well as their conversation?"

River rolled her eyes and sullenly shook her head.

"Mei mei, I'm touched that you're taking this to heart," Simon continued in a more tender tone of voice. "But Kaylee and I are adults. We can work through our own issues. I really don't see what you're so concerned about, but if it would make you feel better, I'll go talk to Kaylee and see if there's anything I need to be concerned about."

River nodded silently while she played with the hem of her shirt.

"Alright," Simon planted a kiss on her forehead as he stood to leave. "Now, no more spying, promise?" River nodded once and looked away as Simon left the medbay. He paused momentarily by the doorway and glanced back at her still sitting on the stool.

"Mei mei, are you certain of the reason you were bothered by what you saw?" he asked. River looked up at him and opened her mouth to speak, and then promptly shut it. Without waiting for her to answer, Simon left, leaving River alone to her thoughts once again.

* * *

On the other side of the ship, Jayne Cobb was also alone with his thoughts. Little Kaylee had left him a while ago to finish some repairs in the underbelly of the ship and seeing as Jayne had no desire to be in the area the septic tank was housed, he opted to stay above deck. He had wandered around the ship for a while, dropping by the cargo bay for a quick work out and the mess hall for a snack before he eventually wound up in his bunk. Unfortunately for him, time alone meant time to think and that meant thinking about her. The crazy psychic gun-toting genius of a pilot. Strange how his mind always seemed to wander back to her. It was like he was a gorram teenager again.

Sighing heavily, Jayne flopped down on his cot and stared up at the ceiling. He was more than fairly sure that River had been up in the cooling ducts during part of his conversation with Kaylee but he just wasn't certain how long she had been there for.

Groaning, he rubbed his face with his hands. He definitely hoped she had missed the beginning of the conversation because that would be all sorts of embarrassing. Resting an arm on his forehead, he let out a low chuckle.

Girl was sneaky, that's for sure. It wasn't until he had sat down in the corner with Kaylee that he had spotted a pair of big brown eyes peering down from behind the grating. But since she hadn't made her presence known, he hadn't said anything. The whole time him and Kaylee chatted, he was aware of her presence, but if she knew it then she had didn't show it. Instead, she stayed there for the duration of the conversation until Kaylee cuddled in close and he put an arm around her. Then the girl had left abruptly and that struck him as sort of odd. He was still mulling it over in his mind as to why she left so quickly, but he just couldn't figure it out.

She knew he only thought of Kaylee as a sister, didn't she? She was a mind reading genius after all, so she should know what he felt. He wasn't used to dealing with psychics. Too much trouble to be worth it, in his opinion. There was never any privacy and your thoughts weren't your own.

A brief thought flickered through his mind that he should just sit down and talk to her, but as soon as it came, it went. There was no way he was going to pour out his heart to l'il crazy. She'd probably tear a strip offa him. Either that or she'd go tell the Captain and her brother, who'd probably want to space him.

No. He would conquer this. He'd fight it and he'd beat it, just like he did with everything in his life. He was a mercenary after all, and mercenaries didn't give in to their feelings.

They got rid of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Inara stood impatiently by the docks on Beaumonde, her bags piled around her feet and a look of annoyance plastered across her face. She was frustrated, upset, angry, not to mention very put out.

They were nearly two hours late.

Mal had sent her a wave yesterday telling her the approximate time _Serenity_ would land on Beaumonde and the berth where they would be docked. The time had come and gone, the berth was still empty, and Inara was still waiting. She had tried to raise them on the cortex twice, but to no avail. She received a busy signal every time she tried to patch a connection through so she eventually gave up. Now she was alone on the docks with no sign of _Serenity_ anywhere.

With a heavy sigh, Inara looked up and down the street, almost expecting to see Mal and his merry band of brigands walk up and inform her that she had been waiting all this time in the wrong area, but it appeared there was no such luck left in the universe. Instead, she was left to wait among the smog and grime, forced to listen to the inane ruckus of a thousand vendors peddling their wares amidst the bright lights and advertisements lining the streets.

Honestly though, what did she expect from Mal? She wasn't even sure the man owned a timepiece. He'd be late to his own funeral if Zoe wasn't there to keep him on track.

A light tug at her dress drew her attention downward. A young child with grime smeared across his face peered up at her, his big brown eyes peeking out from underneath the dirt.

"Want some sugar cane, miss?" The child smiled and held up a bag of the hardened sweet. "For you, I give good price."

"How much is a good price?" Inara knelt down so she was eye level with the child and smiled kindly.

"Good price for you is 3 credits, miss," the child replied without hesitation. Inara knew it was far too much for the product, but the sight of the child's ratty clothes and messy hair garnered enough sympathy, which was undoubtedly part of the young beggars plan. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out the necessary credits and handed them to the little boy.

"Here you go, _er tong_." Inara smiled as the boy handed her the sugar cane and scampered off into the crowd, proudly grasping the credits between his chubby fingers.

Inara looked down at the sweet in her hand and sighed as she stood. Picking up her bags, she lifted a hand and hailed a portering mule. Within minutes, a mule stopped beside her and the driver jumped out.

"Where to, ma'am?" the man said as he hoisted her bags into the back. Inara climbed into the passenger seat folded her hands delicately in her lap as the driver climbed in after her.

"Take me to the Shangri-La Hotel, if you please," she replied. The driver nodded once and set off. Inara took a deep breath and tried to quell her feelings of frustration over being forgotten by the one man who could incite anger in her simply by not being there. Malcolm Reynolds would just have to wave her when he landed, whenever that might be as Inara was unwilling to wait one more minute for him. However, had the Companion waited a few more minutes, she would have seen a familiar Firefly circling to land.

* * *

Mal stood on the ship's ramp overlooking the Beaumonde docks as he peered into the crowd for any sign of Inara. _Serenity _had been late to the rendezvous point, a fact that Mal was quick to point out was no fault of his own. He couldn't help it if the Alliance patrols saw the need to inspect so-called 'suspicious' ships of interest. It wasn't his fault that Fireflys were notorious smuggling ships and that the Alliance felt the insatiable need to stick their noses in the business of well-meaning, law-abiding citizens.

Well, almost law-abiding.

Mal sighed and rubbed his temples in tired frustration. Inara was no where to be seen and had no doubt taken off as soon as she saw they weren't there. Gorram impatient woman. Sometimes he wondered why he put up with her, but even as that thought crossed his mind he knew the answer.

"Something wrong, sir?" Zoe asked as she walked up beside him, wincing as Mal let loose a long string of curses.

"That woman isn't here," he replied.

"I assume you mean Inara," she responded, resting her hands on her hips.

"Who else can make me upset simply by not being here?" Zoe carefully schooled her expression to hide the smirk that threatened to rise. Unfortunately, she was not as successful as she had hoped to be and Mal's scowl deepened when he saw the upward curve of her lips.

"Well, in her defense, we were held up nearly two hours by the interplanetary border patrol." Mal glanced over at his second in command.

"That's not the point, Zoe," he replied. "She should have waved us. Let us know where she was gonna be."

"You were on the cortex with border patrol for two hours, sir. Maybe she tried to wave us."

"Whose side are you on anyways?" Mal turned and glared at Zoe.

"No side, sir," The second in command raised her arms defensively. "Just making mention of the facts."

They stood in silence for a moment, both watching the lively scene facing them before Zoe spoke up again.

"Sir, do you really think this so-called plan of Kaylee's is everything Jayne says it is?" she questioned. Mal sighed and folded his arms over his chest, resting his chin on one hand.

"You don't think it is?" Mal skillfully avoided answering the very question that had been bothering him since his conversation with the mercenary. Zoe shrugged, mirroring Mal's stance before carefully responding.

"I've had my doubts, sir," she replied. "Especially considerin' River's odd behavior as of late."

"You mean near her somewhat jealous outburst whenever she's in the presence of Kaylee and Jayne?" Zoe nodded silently.

"I think we've had the same doubts, Zoe." Mal stared straight ahead into the swarming mass of people, before turning his gaze to his sidekick. "Think maybe there's more to this plan then meets the eye."

"So what do we do about it, sir?"

"Haven't figured that part out yet. Maybe talk to Inara, see if she can find out anything. If she ever gets here that is."

"I'll go see if I can raise her on the cortex."

Zoe turned and walked back inside the ship, leaving Mal alone to his thoughts.

"Gorram woman." he muttered to no one in particular as he turned, following Zoe back inside the ship.

* * *

River sat alone on the bridge staring out the window into the street below. She wasn't focused on anything in particular, but was enjoying the bustling scene down below and the flashing advertisements that lit up the street. The commotion of the Beaumonde docks was soothing in a strange and distracting way since watching the movement kept her mind of her present woes.

Woes that currently involved a certain mercenary and her former best friend.

River sighed and hugged her legs against her chest. She had hoped Inara would be onboard by now, giving her some advice on how to deal with this new dilemma but it appeared the Companion was no where to be found. Now she had no one to talk to. She couldn't discuss this issue with Kaylee, since involved her directly and Simon was of no use anymore. She supposed she could talk to Zoe, but she didn't know what the soldier's response would be. She would either keep her confidence or go straight to the Captain with the information.

No, Inara was the best choice for discussion, except she wasn't here. It appeared as though River had to figure out her feelings on her own, a task she had hoped to avoid for as long as possible.

"River, I need you to try raise Inara," Zoe marched onto the bridge, interrupting River's moment of self-pity. River frowned and sat up straight in the pilot's seat.

"Shangri-La Hotel?" she questioned. Zoe nodded once and leaned up against the console.

"Better make it quick, too, or the Captain's liable to shoot something. Or someone." River covered her mouth with one hand in an attempt to suppress a giggle as she tried to make a connection to the hotel Inara had been staying at.

"Shangri-La Hotel." A man's friendly face flashed onto the screen.

"Can you tell me if Inara Serra has checked out?" Zoe leaned over and asked. The man pulled up a computer and quickly scanned the contents on his view screen.

"May I ask who is inquiring?" The man asked without glancing up from the readout.

"Her registered transport, the Firefly _Serenity._" The man gave a low hum then finally looked at the two women positioned in front of the screen,

"She checked out nearly three hours ago, but has recently returned. I will patch you through to her." The man on the screen abruptly pushed a button and the monitor went blank. Seconds later Inara's face came into view.

"Zoe, River," she smiled as she acknowledged the two women sitting on the bridge. "I was getting worried."

"We were held up by border patrol," Zoe explained as she folded her arms across her chest. "Couldn't help the delay. Captain's a mite worried you weren't at the pick up point, though." Inara rolled her eyes.

"Tell the Captain I'm ready for pickup whenever you are," Inara responded. Zoe nodded and left the bridge, leaving River alone with the Companion on the viewscreen.

"Alright River, I don't have to be psychic to know something's bothering you," Inara stated with a kind smile. "You seem awfully quiet and withdrawn. Is something wrong?"

"Yes," River sighed without elaborating further. Inara raised an eyebrow as she looked at the young pilot.

"Do we have a lot to talk about when I return to the ship?" Inara questioned. River folded her legs under her and nodded silently.

"Then I'll see you soon," Inara shut off the cortex feed, once again leaving River alone on the bridge to watch the bustle of the Beaumonde docks.

* * *

Within hours, Inara was back on board the ship busily unpacking her bags inside her shuttle. As frustrating as Mal could be, she really did love this ship and it felt good to be back on board. She was drawn to the calmness of the Black and there were times when she felt she understood Mal's love of space.

Inara's thoughts were turbulent as she carefully folded and hung her many dresses, smoothing out the silky material as she went. Why did Mal have to make things so difficult?

"I see you finally made it on board." Inara looked up as Mal intruded into her private thoughts and sanctuary.

"And I see you haven't learned to knock," she retorted as she continued her unpacking. Mal sauntered in and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Made me wait over two hours," he replied as he leaned up against her dresser.

"So did you," Inara quickly returned.

"Weren't no fault of mine, as I'm sure Zoe already explained."

"Is there a reason for your visit or did you just stop by to harass me?" Inara was exasperated. Why did it seem as though the Captain was completely incapable of having a normal adult conversation?

"There is actually," Mal's expression was sober as he walked over and sat down on Inara's settee, propping his feet onto a nearby footstool. "Seems something is wrong with my pilot. She hasn't been herself lately. I know folks think I don't see things like that, but if it affects the smooth running of my ship, then I take notice."

Inara sat down beside him, her hands folded delicately in her lap, her posture graceful and perfect.

"You want me to find out what's wrong?" she questioned, conveniently leaving out the detail that she already knew something was bothering the pilot. Mal nodded.

"I won't tell you what she tells me in confidence," Inara continued.

"Don't need to know," Mal replied as he stood up. "Just need to know if it's gonna affect the running of my ship on a long-term basis."

"I'll see what I can do, Mal." Inara watched silently as Mal left her shuttle. Sighing, she leaned back against the cushions. She had a strange feeling that things onboard this ship were going to get very interesting. Now all she had to do was find River for that long awaited discussion.


	6. Chapter 6

Inara sat alone in the dining hall sipping at her mug of steaming hot tea. With a quiet sigh she closed her eyes, deeply breathing in the aromatic fragrance and allowing it to calm her mind and her senses. She had been back on board the ship for less than a day, but what she had seen already had her confused, concerned and slightly amused.

It was clear that the overarching dynamic between the ship's merc and the pilot had shifted, even if the two had not realized it. It was as though the two were in some sort of complex ritualistic dance. River became acutely aware of Jayne's proximity whenever he entered a room, and Jayne seemed to search out ways to be close to her. Whether or not it was intentional was what confused her.

It took less than an hour for Inara to realize that Jayne was only pretending to be interested in Kaylee and even less time for her to realize that Simon was completely aware of this fake interest. As far as she could tell, Kaylee and Simon had some sort of convoluted plan in motion to force Jayne and River to confront their feelings for one another.

It was beginning to make Inara's head ache. Sipping at her tea, she leaned back slightly in the chair and thought about what she could do. She was almost certain Jayne was somewhat aware of his own feelings. The man, although brutish, was self-aware enough and knew what he wanted. River, on the other hand, had no experience with this sort of situation and might need some prompting.

Inara glanced up as the current object of her musings walked into the dining hall. Smiling lightly to herself, she watched as River puttered around the kitchen for a moment before sitting down at the table across from her. River fidgeted for a few moments before she sighed loudly. She folded her arms on the table as she rested her chin on her hands and stared intently over at Inara.

"Something on your mind, mei mei," Inara questioned as she placed her mug carefully in front of her.

"Yes," River said quietly, her eyes downcast. Inara reached across the table and gently touched River's arm.

"You can tell me what's bothering you, River," she said kindly. River paused before looking up at the Companion.

"It's hard to say," River replied. "There is no prior frame of reference from which I can draw conjectures to my current dilemma."

"That's why we have friends, River," Inara smiled at the young girl. "So that those who do have prior experience can help those that don't."

River looked deep in thought as she pondered Inara's statement.

"It's very problematic," she said after a moment of reflection. "And I think the cause of my distress is Jayne."

"Really?" Inara took a sip of her tea and tried to appear surprised at River's statement. River simply nodded, too distracted by her current problems to correctly pick up on Inara's thoughts.

"I agreed to help Kaylee make Simon jealous so he would pay more attention to her," she began.

"Oh, I think Kaylee mentioned that," Inara interrupted. She glanced into her empty tea cup and looked back at River. "I think I'm going to make some more tea. Would you like some, River?"

River nodded and sat back in her chair, picking at an invisible piece of lint on her skirt.

"So you and Kaylee wanted to make Simon jealous. How does this involve Jayne," Inara prompted as she puttered around the kitchen.

"The big ape man was supposed to pay more attention to Kaylee and Simon was supposed to get mad because he is a boob," River replied. "Then Simon was supposed to take Kaylee out more and make her happy."

Inara poured the hot water into two tea cups and stirred in some sugar. She carefully carried the cups over to the table and placed on in front of River, who lightly blew at the steam rising from the top.

"Is this plan working?" Inara said after a moment.

"No!" River exclaimed as she slammed her mug down on the table and splashed some hot liquid over the side and onto her hand. Inara jumped up and ran over to the sink to grab a cold cloth.

"Oh do be careful, River," she exclaimed as she pressed the cloth to River's hand. River winced as the cool cloth touched the hot skin. Taking the cloth out of Inara's hand, she waved the woman away.

"I'm fine," she said, biting back some tears as Inara sat down beside her. "Frustrated, but fine."

"River, why are you so frustrated?" Inara said, a note of concern touching her voice. "This isn't like you."

"Yes it is!" she replied, the cloth lying forgotten on the table. "Just never been able to express it before."

"So why don't you tell me why you're frustrated," Inara said, taking River's uninjured hand. "Maybe I can help." River sniffled back a few tears and took a shaky breath.

"Simon doesn't seem bothered by it," she replied. "But Jayne is always with Kaylee so I don't know why he isn't upset."

"Why are you so upset?" Inara asked gently. River glared at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Because Simon isn't."

"Simon is a big boy. I'm sure he trusts Kaylee's judgment."

"But Jayne is being very convincing." Inara hid her smile by pretending to dab at her lips with a napkin.

"Yes," Inara replied. "But he also has his own code of honor. I truly believe he is just trying to help and would never cross the line with Kaylee."

"He is very honorable," River was thinking intently as she cradled her burned hand.

"He loves Kaylee like a sister," Inara responded. River nodded silently.

"I know," she said after a moment. Inara took a moment to carefully ponder her next words.

"So why are you so bothered by this?" she questioned gently. River looked up at the Companion and a look of realization dawned across her face.

"I'm the one that's jealous."

* * *

A few hours later River sat in the infirmary bandaging up her burned hand. The water was hotter than she realized and now her skin was red and raw.

_What makes a person jealous?_

Jayne's words echoed through her mind and she couldn't get them to stop repeating. What made a person jealous?

Well, the obvious answer was seeing that person express an interest in another person even if that interest was faked. It was clear why she was drawn to Jayne. He was dangerous, just like she was. He didn't mince words and spoke exactly what he thought. He did what he thought was right, even if it wasn't and that made him honorable. He made mistakes and sometimes he could be loud and crude, but he had slowly integrated himself into this crew and now was as much a part of the family as she and Simon were.

No, the attraction was no mystery.

The dilemma facing her now was how she was going to deal with her newly realized jealousy.

After she carefully placed the unused bandages back in the med drawer, River meticulously cleaned up the med bay, leaving no trace that she had been in here. The last thing she need was Simon's excessive worry.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the hall toward the med bay, causing River to pause in her motions. Her ears perked up at the heavy sound as she attempted to decipher the maker of the steps. The steps were too heavy to belong to Simon and too long to belong to Kaylee or Inara. They were too noisy to be Zoe's footsteps and too slow to be Mal's. That left only one person left.

Panicking slightly, River whipped around looking for a possible exit. She spotted the entrance to a duct in the ceiling, but before she could climb onto the metal gurney, Jayne walked in. He paused very slightly in his steps when he saw River and if she hadn't been paying attention, she wouldn't have noticed it. Nodding his head in acknowledgment, he walked over and pulled open the same drawer River had been carefully packing the bandages into. She watched as he pulled one out and placed it on the table, then looked away and blushed as he whipped off his shirt.

River vainly tried to keep her eyes off the man's broad, muscled back, but couldn't resist peeking at him out of the corner of her eye. She gasped when she saw the large gash that crossed his back.

"What?" he asked gruffly as he turned to look at her. Now that he was facing her, River had a difficult time keeping her eyes off his well defined chest.

"Um, that, um, well it looks like it hurts," she stuttered, bringing her gaze up to meet his eyes. His bright blue piercing eyes.

"Ah it looks worse than it feels," he replied with a chuckle as he raised an arm. "One of the boxes in the cargo bay fell down. Sharp corner just caught me. Barely missed my head."

With his opposite hand, he tried to position the liquid bandage so that it would spray over the wound, but River could clearly see that his trajectory was off. Stepping forward, she took the bandage out of his hand.

"I can do it better," she said quietly. Jayne nodded once and turned around so that his back was toward her. River drew in a deep breath and lightly touched the uninjured skin with one hand. She watched as the hair on Jayne's back stood on end and listened as he drew in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry," she said as she quickly removed her hand. "Did that hurt?" Jayne shook his head without saying a word, so River gently placed her hand on one side of the gash and expertly applied the bandage.

"There," she said as she finished, lightly stroking the seam where the bandage met the skin. "Finished."

Jayne jumped away from her and quicky turned around, his shirt grasped lightly in one hand and a strange look etched across his face that concerned River.

"Did I do it wrong?" she asked in a worried tone. Jayne shook his head.

"Uh, no," he replied, his voice quiet and slightly hoarse. "Didn't do nothing wrong."

As River watched Jayne pull his shirt over his head and stalk out of the infirmary, she couldn't help a smile from coming to her face as she picked up on the wisps of emotions that emanated from him.

This was certainly an interesting development.

* * *

To say he was panicked would be an understatement. Jayne was downright petrified. He was terrified. He had done so well over the past few weeks at keeping his feelings buried and making sure that River had no idea what he was thinking, but he blew it tonight. He hadn't been expecting to find River all alone in the med bay and when he saw her he'd had half a mind to turn around and come back later. Would've too if the cut hadn't been so bad.

Then she touched him. Hadn't been expecting that. Shivers ran up and down his spine as he remembered what her hand felt like. It was like it was burned into his skin and there was no way he could get it off.

Gorram it! He was turning into a ruttin' teenager again! Couldn't stop his thoughts after she touched him. They went places no innocent girl like River should see. But she was a Reader which meant she probably knew exactly what he was thinking.

With a frustrated groan, Jayne ran his fingers through his hair. Yep, she knew, that was for sure. One thing was for certain, after this game with Kaylee was finished he was gonna make sure River knew clear and proper just what his thoughts meant.


	7. Chapter 7

River stood outside the mess hall, poised to enter. She had a fluttery feeling in her stomach and her hands were shaking slightly as she fidgeted. She had eaten less than an hour ago so she knew this feeling was not caused by low blood sugar. She was also up to date on all her immunizations and medications so could not possibly be caused by any sort of viral or bacterial infection. In fact, as she quickly ran through the mental list of possible conditions that would cause the sort of symptoms she was feeling, she was surprised to discover one condition she had never experienced before.

River was nervous.

She had never been nervous. She had been scared, angry, and confused but never nervous. Somehow, she always knew that she could handle whatever situation came her way, whether it was fighting a horde of angry Reavers or unlocking a Haliburton. After all, it was a part of her training. It was what she was designed to do.

River was designed to live, fight, and survive. There was no situation she couldn't handle.

Except perhaps for this one.

This particular situation was completely out of her realm of experience and she had no idea what to do.

She thought it would be easier to confront him since picking up on his stray emotion, but the opposite was true. Every time they were in the same room together, her throat seemed to close up and her mouth refused to function properly.

With a deep breath, she smoothed out her skirt and ran a hand through her hair. She straightened her shoulders and, with what she thought was a confident posture, walked into the dining room.

Jayne sat at the table with an array of weaponry spread out before him as he leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest. He looked self-assured and cocky as usual but River could feel the anxiety rolling off him in waves. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open like a dead fish.

Jayne was as nervous as she was!

"You just gonna stand there gawking or are ya gonna sit your ass down so we can start?" Jayne's rumbling voice interrupted her reverie. River quickly shut her mouth gave him a light smile then glided over and positioned herself in the chair next to him.

Jayne watched as the young girl reached out and carefully touched the barrel of a .45 XL Edison in a move he could only describe as a caress. Damn, but he had never seen a move as sensual as what the girl just did. Didn't help that she had no idea what a turn on it was.

River glanced up at him with a little smile as she picked up the gun.

"So you're going to teach me how to use this?" she said, indicating the weapon. Jayne gulped and took a deep breath, drawing his eyes away from the sight of her small hand grasping the fine weapon and up to her face. He nodded silently, watching as her lips curved upward and her eyes laughed.

"Weren't my idea none," he replied defensively. "Mal seems to think ya need a lesson on handling guns 'fore this next job."

River stifled a giggle and placed the gun back on the table in front of Jayne. Moving around the side of the table, she pulled out a chair next to him and sat down, angling her body in his direction.

"Do you think I need it, Jayne?" she asked, looking over at him. Jayne stared down at those big brown eyes and almost forgot to reply.

"Naw," he said after a moment. "Way I figure, you need this about as much as l'il Kaylee needs a lesson on engine repair. But it's the Captain's rules. Guess he just wants to make sure you're familiar with it."

"Captain's boat, captain's rules," River replied. Jayne grinned down at her and picked up the Edison, displaying it proudly in his rough, large hands.

"You know, I don't think I've ever handled one of your guns," River said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. She ran her hand up and down the barrel. "You have a very impressive weapon."

River closed her eyes as she felt a wave of lust roll over her.

With a deep breath, Jayne stamped down the emotions that he could feel creeping up and turned to the task at hand.

"Now this here," he said as he showed her the gun "is a .45 XL Edison. It's a mighty fine piece of weaponry, if I do say so myself, but only if you treat it proper." River looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. Jayne smirked before continuing his lesson.

"See," he said as he tore his eyes away from her adorably curious expression. "A gun's like a woman. Treat her with care, take her out once in a while and she'll love ya forever."

"So you think all women are the same, then?" River answered. "Tell me Jayne, do you treat 'em all the same?"

"Hey now," Jayne raised his hands defensively, gun still in hand. "Treating with care means something different to each woman. Some women like being all romantic like, others like their space. Depends on the woman, just like it depends on the gun. Gotta get to know it first." River paused for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought.

"You treat Kaylee with care." It was more of a statement than a question, but Jayne caught the meaning behind it. He placed the gun he was still holding back on the table and leaned back in his chair. Crossing his arms, he gazed down at her.

"That's different and you know it," he replied. River huffed and mimicked his posture.

"Is it?" she retorted.

"Yeah it is! Kaylee ain't never been more'n a sister to me. Side's…" Jayne lowered his voice and leaned in closer to her. "It ain't my fault your brother's a dumbass."

Jayne was getting agitated. He didn't like where this line of questioning was going. If he didn't know any better he woulda thought the girl was getting jealous.

River tried to steady her breathing as Jayne moved closer to her. She had to control herself.

"T'weren't my idea, none anyhow. Was yours and Kaylee's," he continued after a moment. The only response he got was River's quiet breathing.

River rose abruptly from her chair and walked to the door.

"Mine and Kaylee's," she echoed softly before she walked out of the room, leaving Jayne alone again with his guns and stunned at her abrupt departure.

"Gorram moonbrain," he muttered quietly to no one in particular.

* * *

Jayne and River sat next to each other in the backseat of the mule, deafening silence threatening to drive them both crazy. Both were acutely aware of the proximity of the other and both were desperately trying to avoid looking at the other.

"You two fighting or something?" Mal's exasperated voice drew their attention to the front seat of the mule.

"Or sumthin," Jayne muttered quietly. Zoe glanced back at him through the rearview mirror, a slight smirk gracing her face as she piloted the mule toward the latest drop off point.

"Well, stop before we get to the drop off point." Mal's response was short and it was all he could do to keep from laughing at the petulant looks that crossed Jayne's and River's faces.

Zoe parked the ship in front of a run-down old warehouse and jumped out, her mouth drawn in a thin line as she surveyed the old building.

"I got a bad feeling about this, sir." Mal climbed down beside her, barely glancing at the boarded up windows.

"Well, it ain't like we been working much lately," he replied as he adjusted his holster and checked the safety on his weapon. "'Sides, I have a plan. We'll be okay."

"You always say that and we never are," was the acerbic reply.

"Well, this plan is fool-proof." Zoe merely raised an eyebrow so Mal continued speaking.

"See, way I figure it," he said, "we send River and Jayne in first to survey the place, make sure everything is all copasetic-like before they give us the go-ahead over the comm. Brilliant, ain't it? Sure is nice having two trained killers on payroll."

Zoe looked back at the so-called trained killers and her other eyebrow quirked upward. The pair of them made quite the sight. River was leaning against the mule with her arms folded and a pout across her face that reminded Zoe of a sulking child. Jayne, on the other hand, looked like he was throwing a tantrum. She winced slightly as the hulking mercenary slammed down the lid of the cargo trunk on the mule as he muttered something about crazy women and their unpredictable moods.

"You sure about this, sir?" Zoe knew a bad idea when she saw one and with the way River and Jayne were acting toward one another, this was definitely a bad idea. Mal paused and looked over at his two gunhands.

"They're professionals, Zoe," Mal replied. "Whatever issues they're having right now, it won't get in the way of their job."

Something in Mal's tone of voice made Zoe pause.

"Alright, sir," she nodded. "But I ain't gonna be the one to break it to them."

Mal grimaced as he glanced back at River and Jayne standing side by side in stony silence. Zoe smothered a grin as she watched Mal walk over to the two and explain his plan. The look on the mercenary's face was priceless but Zoe's mirth was quickly subdued by the glare River had directed toward the Captain. Zoe sighed to herself. Professional or not, if River's black mood was any indication, nothing good was going to come of Mal's plan.

* * *

"Ain't this just lovely," Jayne pulled at the ropes that bound his hands together, wincing as the knots drew tighter with his movements.

"I would refrain from doing that unless you want to cut off all circulation to your appendages." River's quiet voice cut through the darkness of the cold jail cell where they were being held. Jayne cursed loudly before turning his head in the direction of her voice.

"Ain't this why we bring you along?" he accused. "So's we don't get in situations like this?

"The alternative was much less pleasant," River replied. "You die."

Jayne strung together a few more colorful phrases.

"Perhaps we'd better focus on how to get out of here," River said. "And not the nature of my mother's ancestry."

"Well, do ya know what they want?" the merc grumbled.

"Hard to focus," the girl mumbled. "Too many thoughts, too much interference."

"Well can ya try to focus," Jayne's gruff voice cut through her concentration. Even though he couldn't see her through the darkness, River shot a deathly glare at him. Unaware that River was mentally shooting daggers through his skull, Jayne continued on his diatribe.

"Kaylee's making stew tonight," he groused. "I was really lookin' forward to that."

"That's not all you were looking forward to." River tried to mumble under her breath, but unfortunately the mercenary's hearing was far better then she anticipated.

"What's that you said, girl?" Jayne scowled and River huffed.

"You heard it," was the short response.

"Well mebbe you better explain it."

"Well, maybe I don't have to."

"You know, I'm gettin' really sick of this stupid feng le plan. More trouble then it's worth."

"Well perhaps the big neanderthal ape should not have deviated so much from aforementioned plan," River's voice quivered with excess emotion as she spoke.

"Me deviated?!" Jayne shot back. "Yer the one getting your panties all twisted around spouting off some craziness 'bout me and Kaylee."

"Were just s'posed to get Simon jealous. That's all!" River was desperately holding back the tears that threatened to spring forth. "Weren't supposed to get emotionally attached!"

"Yeah, well it ain't my fault your brother's dumber then a doorpost. What do you care anyways?"

River didn't answer Jayne's accusation. Instead she quietly sniffled in the corner.

Jayne paused for a moment, listening to the sound of the crazy killer girl crying in the corner when it suddenly dawned on him.

"Wait," he said. "What do you mean emotionally attached?"

The sound of River's sharp intake of breath did not go unnoticed by the chained up merc.

"You talking 'bout me or you, moonbrain?" Jayne asked. The ensuing quiet was all the answer he needed. "Aw hell! You're jealous ain't ya?"

River's silence echoed loudly through the jail cell.

"Well, uh," Jayne was at a loss for words. Here he was, mooning over the girl for the past few months, thinking she didn't want him when all along she did. He had to admit, he was pleased with the turn of events. River, however, was a nervous wreck. She hadn't meant to let him know and had several pre-formulated answers should he ever question her the way he did. Unfortunately, at the precise moment when those answers would have come in useful, she found her mouth quite unwilling to move and her vocal cords unable to produce any sounds.

"Huh," Jayne grunted, a smile spreading across his face at the realization that he could now have the girl, Kaylee's plan be damned.

"Did not mean for the big man to know," River's quiet voice cut through Jayne's train of thought. "But then she caught a cloud of his thoughts and…"

River paused and was unable to say anymore.

"Aw hell, girl," Jayne replied. "Yer supposed to be the ruttin' genious. I only said I'd help Kaylee because you and her are so close. Ya gotta know I been watching you all these months."

"You like her?" came the quiet response.

However, before he could answer, the doors to the jail cell burst open and Mal and Zoe marched in with guns blazing like big damn heroes.

Jayne nearly cursed out loud at Mal's timing.

River did curse out loud.

"Well now Zoe," Mal stated as he cradled his gun in one arm. "Seems like we's got a couple of criminal's need rescuing."

"We got a couple alright," Zoe replied, carefully taking in the mutually annoyed expression on Jayne and River's faces.

"Well now, this is nice and all but while you two been seating on your asses, we've been doing some thieving," Mal continued as he knelt down and cut the cords that bound Jayne's wrists while Zoe did the same to River.

"However, I do believe they might be on to us, so we best make haste outta this place," the Captain said, helping Jayne to his feet.

The quartet of criminals quickly made their way through the abandoned warehouse and out into the street where the mule was safely parked and waiting for them.

* * *

Safely back on the ship, River expertly piloted the ship out of atmo and set it on autopilot. She leaned back in the pilot's seat and propped her feet up on the console, taking a few moments to reflect on the activities of the past few days.

Jayne had pretty much admitted that he thought she wasn't too bad but Mal's horrible timing had prevented anything else from being discussed. However, she was fairly certain the mercenary held her in higher regard then when they first met and she was fairly certain she felt the same way.

Now she had to figure out what to do about it. Unfortunately the genius within her was used to dealing with problems of physics and not problems of the heart. She lightly strummed her fingers against the armrests and sighed loudly.

"You and I gotta have ourselves a little discussion," the deep rumbling voice of the object of her musings cut through her thoughts. Jayne lumbered onto the bridge and sat down in the co-pilot's chair opposite her.

River couldn't help but think that, unlike the Captain, Jayne had really good timing.

"Seems to me we started talking 'bout something and we need to clear up what it means," Jayne continued. River opened her mouth to reply but found herself unable to form any words, something that had recently become a regular occurrence while in Jayne's company.

Jayne swallowed thickly as the girl just stared at him with those big brown eyes he found more irresistible then a Callahan Fullbore Autolock. Suddenly, he found himself unable to continue on his train of thought.

"Aw hell, what I mean to say is…" Jayne was interrupted by the bit of a girl that had slipped onto his lap and was now gently kissing him.

"And people say I talk too much," she murmured into his lips.

Jayne couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he drew her closer and kissed her soundly.

* * *

Simon had been on his way to the bridge to check up on River, but unlike Mal, his timing was pretty good.

"Hey doc," Mal said as he passed by in the corridor.

"Captain, I need to talk to you about picking up some medical supplies on Greenleaf," Simon replied.

"Can't it wait? I was just heading up to the bridge to check our heading." Simon shook his head.

"I was just there, River has everything under control," he answered. "This is important. If we don't discuss these supplies I may not be able to save your life next time you get shot." Mal grimaced and turned around, following the doc to the infirmary.

"Alright then, but make it quick," he replied.

"Oh don't worry," said Simon. "It'll only take a moment. Besides, I know Kaylee needs to speak with you concerning some engine parts."

Meanwhile, up on the bridge, two trained killers got to know each other a little bit better, uninterrupted.


End file.
